13 10 2004

Shards of pull cards scattered on the carpet
It’s hard to breathe cause you wear a fitted target
Tug upon a choke chain, travel the code rain
Of course I’ve come to show you

-Shrapnel – Slug

And he said some got pencils and some got guns
Some know how to stand and some of them run
We don’t get along, but we sing the same song
Party for the fight to write, and write on

As a child Hip Hop made me read books,
And Hip Hop made me wanna be a crook
And Hip Hop gave me the way and something to say
And all I took in return is a second look

Party for the Fight to Write – Slug

Jebus!?! Why?

12 10 2004

Do-run-run-run da do-run-run…

12 10 2004

Damn, what song is that? My sister and I used to take out my Playskool phonograph and play that single while running around the living room in a circle. So odd, so funny and such a memory. Man, I miss home, and I only got back from it yesterday. I didn’t get to talk to my mom for more than 20 minutes total because of my sister’s Friday night injury at soccer and my Mom’s Saturday departure with my Pa to St. Louis for a workup on his Lyme Disease.

Did I mention this already? I think I did, but as a recap, sister has a possible torn MCL. She’s getting an MRI on Wednesday. I pray for the best with her, because I doubt surgery and PT are her idea of fun for the rest of her school year. Poor girl has to miss the end of her soccer season … kind of like me and hockey my senior year. Broke my clavicle and was out for half the damn season. Never got back on the ice during high school.

I spoke to my sister about Dad, and she said that his horrible headaches were definitely caused by the Lyme Disease, which is actually a relief. It’s been horrible to see him in pain and know that it happens to him on a near-daily basis with trips to the hospital becoming more and more frequent. Thank God he’s finally getting it treated. I hope it never comes back.

I’m sitting in the Memorial Library infolab lamenting not finding a pencil and praising finally finding my long-lost mp3 player, which WAS worth a bundle, but has probably depreciated a lot since the 20GB players are almost affordable now. It feels good to be writing in this again, and I hope I can keep regular entries again.

Listening to The Postal Service is bringing back memories of summer, both sweet and sad. I haven’t associated the songs so closely to ruin the music for me, though. I hope that never happens.

I have so much to do, between homework, fraternity work, scheduling classes, prepping to apply for study abroad and meeting with advisers. I’m also starting to ponder seriously what I’ll be doing once I leave this magical bubble that we call college. I’m thinking of three options that don’t involve going to work directly.

One is the Peace Corps, a very real option. I hear that I should be working on application for that NOW, which is intimidating. It seems so real and so full of humanity. I can’t imagine doing something more important than giving up all you have to see how the world lives outside of this larger bubble we call America and helping those parts of the world that are developing to catch up with 1st world life. You get a small stipend to “live as the average community member lives” while you’re there (plus health and dental coverage). When you leave, you get $6,075 to get you on your feet when you leave. Apparently, there are a lot of opportunities available to “returned volunteers” which is an important thing for me. It says there are non-competitive executive government positions available for those immediately out, which is amazing. They also offer extended, low-cost health care for a year or two after you leave in case you need it.

Another option is grad school, which involves taking the GREs and looking at schools, then applying to them as well. Yikes! That’s a lot of work, and I’m not sure if I want to go for my Master’s degree, especially with all the debt I’m incurring looming in the forefront of my mind. With me keeping a chunk of returned loan extras for living costs, I’m looking at about $10,000 X 4 years. Ugh. I can live in the conditions I’m in now, but I’d really like to buy a house ASAP, too, since rent is worthless and a money-sucker.

A final possibility is getting a civil or enlisted position in some armed force (preferably Air Force or Navy, but possibly Army, too, since they need entomologists and PR people). The deal is sweet, especially if you’re unattached to a significant other at home. You get paid AND fed while working, and you get a monster sum after your four years are up. I also might be able to get grad school paid for while I’m in it. That involves more research, though. It seems that more and more of my friends are signing up or trying to, and if you can secure a non-combat position, why wouldn’t you join? It’s tough work, but there are a lot of rewards. I know there are a lot of shitty things about service, too, so I’d have to weigh my options.

Wow. I wrote a lot and haven’t touched my math, which is due in seven hours, including sleep. I better go.

Much love to all my true friends who I haven’t been able to talk to. We’re all busy, and any time I can make to chat, I will, because I care about all of you, too. The best way to talk is to stop by if you’re passing some time. You know my address.

Oy (pt. 2)

11 10 2004

Wow. I’m searching for motivation in a bag full of distractions.

I got home this weekend hoping to catch a bit of the Twins game but instead finding out my sister got injured at her conference soccer championship. Some bitchy gal from the other team who’s given me sis crap all year fell on her leg. She was out for a bit then went back in the game. After a little bit more on the field, her leg just gave, and apparently she was screaming in pain. I guess she either snapped her MCL or “broke” a meniscus. Her MRI is tomorrow, and I feel really shitty cuz she’s home alone while my mom and dad are in Missouri seeing a specialist about my dad’s Lyme Disease. Oy is just the beginning.

I also watched the Twins lose. Twice. To the Yankees. WTF?!?! Twice today I’ve heard people say, “Well, they’re a Minnesota sports team.” GAWD!

Well, after a long drought of updates, I have to sign off early again. Shower, a little homework, then bed bed bed.


A sad day….

6 10 2004

Rodney Dangerfield died. I need to see Back to School, ASAP.

Sorry about he lack of stuff. Been busy bombing a Calc exam and rocking a Chem exam.

O Discordia. The world wept.