So…

19 07 2005

Last weekend was shit. I have about 5 pages in writing to scan, so I won’t mention it now. I also just found out that ANOTHER buddy’s mom died about a month ago. She was his last family member aside from an aunt and uncle in Florida who dislike/hate him. Fuck. He’s even closer than the other friend, and I need to get a hold of him to tell him to keep going.

God. Everything’s been blah lately. I want to be occupied by work and not by school for once. Next summer, I want to work full time.

I feel like something very bad will be happening soon. I don’t know if I wrote that before, but now I know. If nothing else, my dog is going to die soon. When that happens, I’m going to be in a real funk.

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More from the best of CL

13 07 2005

I hate you, white fish with the flowy fins

To celebrate our domestic bliss, my boyfriend and I recently got a fish tank. The manager lady at the Petco on La Brea (very helpful, looks like Parker Posey in 20 years, she deserves a raise) advised us to stock the tank with goldfish for the first few weeks because they’d do something or another to the water to make it more amenable to tropical fish in the future.
Not surprisingly, five of the eight goldfish died, as goldfish are wont to do. We waited in vain to sacrifice the remaining three to the porcelain god, but they defied us. Finally, we purchased a smaller tank and moved them there. They seem content.
Then we cranked up the heater and bought tropical fishes: two orange thingies with wavy fins, a silver something that looks like a quarter with gills, some fish with little feeler things on its mouth, a frog, and the white fish the flowy fins that would be the death of everything.
Oh, the hours my boyfriend and I spent in each other’s arms, looking at the aquarium and delighting in our makeshift family.
Then disaster struck. White fish with the flowy fins got bumpy things and his flowy fins started getting stumpy. The other inhabitants of the aquarium were fine for days, maybe a week. We went back to Petco and manager lady gave us drugs to medicate the aquarium. We medicated as instructed and everything returned to normal.
Oh, the hours my boyfriend and I spent in each other’s arms, looking at the aquarium with relief at having averted disaster.
Then disaster struck. White fish with the flowy fins got bumpy things on his flowy fins and started getting stumpy again. The other fishes, the frog, and the snail started getting bumpy things days later. Then I awoke one morning to find everyone floating belly-up at the top of the aquarium, except white fish with the flowy fins.
He no longer has bumpy things but he’s still stumpy. He swims around all day, all alone, content to have his kingdom to himself finally. Fucker.

$100 to steal my roommate’s cat

Need an easy way to make $100? Break into my apartment and steal my roommate’s cat. Please! You can have the cat, give it to the animal rescue league or sell it to a Chinese takeaway. I really don’t care. Bottom line is the cat needs to GO! I have racked my brain trying to come up with ways to get rid of this cat, but any possible scenarios I have worked out would definitely be figured out by my stealthy roommate. This is the only way I can get rid of this mangy animal without incurring the wrath of my roomie. Before you consider me a heartless individual, please understand that there is a solid basis for my utter hatred of said feline. I hate this cat with a passion. Here are my reasons for hating the cat:

1. It smells. It has a skin disease and must get weekly injections of anti-inflammatory drugs. It also wears one of those lampshade cones around its neck so it won’t lick it’s inflamed, oozing patches of skin. This presents a problem. Because the cat wears a cone, it cannot clean itself. Therefore, the cat reeks. It also has a nasty habit of scratching around its litter box and emerging with large chunks of cat turds stuck around the rim of its cone-head contraption. I have found these chunks of cat turds and other dingles from the cat’s nether regions on such places as a) the dining room table b) my bed c) the bed in our guest room etc. It is gross.
2. Because the cat is so smelly, it needs to be bathed on a weekly basis. This has caused an excessive amount of cat hair to become lodged in our pipes. Massive amounts of Drano are futile against the massive hairballs lodged within our apartment’s plumbing system.
3. The cat’s food. Let’s face it – cat food is nasty. This cat refuses to eat dry food. It will only eat wet food. The cat food is constantly strewn about our living room floor (yes, the cat prefers to eat in the living room because the cold terra cotta tiles in the kitchen “hurt his feet” according to my roommate). The cat cannot reach its food if it is placed on the floor because of the large cone around its neck. Therefore, the cat eats out of a large platter perched upon a TV-tray table. It sits on the couch and munches away on it’s smelly “captains platter” flavored Friskies, all the while dropping bits of the stinking, rotting, slimy, ground up fish carcasses onto my oriental rugs.
4. It has a nasty habit of throwing up its Friskies “filet and pate” all over the apartment. Never on an easily cleanable surface either. No, I always come home from work to find piles of barf on the leather couch, the Oriental rug and the shag rug in the bathroom (that one we had to throw out). Last week was in the nineties. What a joy it was for me to come home to my apartment and enter an abode smelling of hot tuna and stomach bile that had been festering in the 80 degree apartment all day. When I opened the door the fumes it me like a punch in the face.
5. I just hate cats. Period.

So, if you think you are up for the challenge, I invite you to come to our apartment and steal my roomie’s cat. Please email me and I will give you directions to my apartment. I encourage you to be creative. There are several windows along the fire escape that can easily be broken (we don’t have an alarm…those stickers are just a decoy). Please make sure that you make it believable-open up the cabinets, toss a few items on the floor, pull the cushions off the sofa in the living room etc. My roomie keeps her pot stashed in a ceramic vase on top of the microwave. Please steal that and maybe a few bottles of booze from our liquor cabinet – might make her think some kids from PS123 broke in on their lunch break. Don’t forge to take the cat WITH YOU when you leave. And leave the window open…that way she’ll think the cat jumped out. Help yourself to a cold beer in the fridge as well.

Please email and I send directions to my apartment and arrange a time to meet in private and pay you $100 CASH.

Dog Toe Nail and Seed Collage – 15

I have created a beautiful collage from my dogs toe nails and some seeds from my garden. God has blessed us with many wonderful objects to create beautiful art with.

* this is in or around Spanaway





Happy or pissed?

11 07 2005

I’m about 95% sure that I want to drop my o-chem lecture. This sucks and it rules.

First off, it’s great because the class has been putting a damper on having any kind of a good time this summer. I’ve stayed in studying several nights and try to study others, only to get further and further behind in my readings. That’s what blows so much about an accelerated summer class.

Now for the shitty part, something I didn’t know about summer classes: if you enroll for the class and then drop, even on day one, it shows up on your transcript. Still that’s something I can deal with. After talking to several friends and rationalizing it with my dental school plans, it seems ok. I’ve been getting a B/C or worse so far, and this could hurt more if I nearly fail it than if I drop it.

Even worse for me, since this course only lasts 8 weeks, the amount of tuition you get back starts decreasing after week 1. It goes from “full refund” to 75% back on week 2 to 50% back on week 3 to 25% back on week 4. Guess which week I’m in… yes, week 5. It’s the last week possible to drop the course, and I’ll be losing about $912… just DOWN THE FUCKING SHITTER. I got two scholarships last spring, and this is about 2/3 of the money I got… FUCK! Can I convey this frustration any more? Awful, mean, obscene words can’t begin show you. You’d have to look at my face as I type this. I am one morose motherfucker. Now I have to tell my parents that I wasted $900 and four weeks of my summer on absolute shit. All I can hope is that the extra free time allows me to work more and get some of this money back.

Man. Other things are not going so well, either. In addition to disappointing a good friend earlier (see two entries ago), it looks like I’ll probably be taking the Greyhound home this weekend for my cousin’s wedding. To add to that, I’m still only teaching techs, the basic boats, at Hoofers, and I’m getting antsy to teach a higher fleet.

There’s a really cute instructor at the club who’s a sophomore at UW. I was just told she’s single, and I was pretty excited. Now, as I talk to her more and more, it seems like she has no interest in me except as a friend. I can’t always guage these things so well, but that’s kind of how it seems right now. It sucks, too, because normally I’d just shrug it off as I have countless times before. Instead, I’m feeling that attraction to her character a lot more than that initial physical attraction (even though she IS hot). When that whole thing sets in, it’s a lot harder to let go of the possibility of a relationship. This is the kind of girl I’d like to get to know by really dating and taking it slow. I haven’t had a relationship like that since MAYBE freshman year, but probably more like senior year of high school. I miss it… a lot.

And so I heave a great sigh and resign myself to a distant future of living like crap for another 4 months to pay off that extra grand in student loans. I guess the answer is pissed…





Shit

10 07 2005

This is the kind of news story that people gloss over but that should get more media play. WTF? You tell me…





Death of your parents

9 07 2005

So a high school friend of mine’s mom just died of a pulmonary
embolism, which is apparently something that can happen at many ages. I
guess she had it in the shower and had no brain activity by the time
the ambulance was transporting her to the hospital. The woman was a
little older than my dad and so well known in the community that she
even got a public obit in the Minneapolis Strib.
She was a wonderful woman who gave piano lessons to many of my friends
(and her own son.) It’s sad and scary how someone can lose someone so
fast.

A pulmonary embolism occurs when the pulmonary artery (from the heart
to the lungs) is blocked by something. Most commonly it occurs when a
clot on a deep vein in the leg breaks loose and moves toward the heart.
Clots in the legs can occur from something as simple as sitting on a
long plane or car ride. When a pulmonary embolism occurs, blockage can
cause death within 30 minutes of the onset of symptoms.

I can’t get the thought of one or both of my parents dying out of my
head. I’m scared and paranoid because of it. I only think about it when
I’m not busy doing something, like now. I don’t want to lose them so
soon, and I likely won’t, but what if…?





I’m a bitch… and so is chem

8 07 2005

I went to see Death Cab for Cutie… awesome. I accidentally bailed on Ceci by leaving my cell phone ON the car for the park and ride. Sorry Ceci.

The show rocked, but the set was way too short and left me wanting more. Also, the shit we sat on was uncomfortable as hell.

I’m studying chem indoors on a lovely, warm night… 4 more weeks… 4 more weeks… 4 more weeks… BLECH!

Fuck chem and fuck summer classes. Next summer, it’s all sailing and parties, no bullshit classes.

It was familiar to me,
the smoke too thick to breathe
the tile floors glistened,
I slowly slurred my drink.

And when you started to sing
you spoke with broken speech
that I could not understand
and then you grabbed me tightly.

I won’t let go I won’t let go
even if you say so, oh no.





An open letter to family (pics to be included when I’m energetic enough to host them)

6 07 2005

To: Every family member with an inbox
Subject: My Hair

Dear fam,

As you may know, I have ever-evolving hair. Every day, it takes on
newer, more technologically advanced forms. A team of four UW
engineering researchers is currently working on making it more ergonimic
and pleasing to the eye.

It all started with my original style, the “rat tail”, which Mom
insisted looked cute… Maybe it did in ’89, but I look back on it now
and LOVE that cut. Later, I experimented with the
ever-societally-prevalent “bowl cut”, to which Mom SHOULD have lovingly
responded, “Fuggeddaboudit!”

Other styles I’ve sported have included the good old “buzz”, the
world-worn “hippie”, the trusty “bleach-blond”, and the hard-rockin’
mullet. I have included a sampling of some of these “do”s… and “don’t”s.

I hope all is well in the world with the family, both with the
Norman-ish clan and the Arnett brood. I’ll see many of you in a couple
weeks I’m sure. Until then, dwell on my latest cut: THE HAWK! RAWR!

Much love and a beautiful, safe summer to all,
Collin