Happy or pissed?

11 07 2005

I’m about 95% sure that I want to drop my o-chem lecture. This sucks and it rules.

First off, it’s great because the class has been putting a damper on having any kind of a good time this summer. I’ve stayed in studying several nights and try to study others, only to get further and further behind in my readings. That’s what blows so much about an accelerated summer class.

Now for the shitty part, something I didn’t know about summer classes: if you enroll for the class and then drop, even on day one, it shows up on your transcript. Still that’s something I can deal with. After talking to several friends and rationalizing it with my dental school plans, it seems ok. I’ve been getting a B/C or worse so far, and this could hurt more if I nearly fail it than if I drop it.

Even worse for me, since this course only lasts 8 weeks, the amount of tuition you get back starts decreasing after week 1. It goes from “full refund” to 75% back on week 2 to 50% back on week 3 to 25% back on week 4. Guess which week I’m in… yes, week 5. It’s the last week possible to drop the course, and I’ll be losing about $912… just DOWN THE FUCKING SHITTER. I got two scholarships last spring, and this is about 2/3 of the money I got… FUCK! Can I convey this frustration any more? Awful, mean, obscene words can’t begin show you. You’d have to look at my face as I type this. I am one morose motherfucker. Now I have to tell my parents that I wasted $900 and four weeks of my summer on absolute shit. All I can hope is that the extra free time allows me to work more and get some of this money back.

Man. Other things are not going so well, either. In addition to disappointing a good friend earlier (see two entries ago), it looks like I’ll probably be taking the Greyhound home this weekend for my cousin’s wedding. To add to that, I’m still only teaching techs, the basic boats, at Hoofers, and I’m getting antsy to teach a higher fleet.

There’s a really cute instructor at the club who’s a sophomore at UW. I was just told she’s single, and I was pretty excited. Now, as I talk to her more and more, it seems like she has no interest in me except as a friend. I can’t always guage these things so well, but that’s kind of how it seems right now. It sucks, too, because normally I’d just shrug it off as I have countless times before. Instead, I’m feeling that attraction to her character a lot more than that initial physical attraction (even though she IS hot). When that whole thing sets in, it’s a lot harder to let go of the possibility of a relationship. This is the kind of girl I’d like to get to know by really dating and taking it slow. I haven’t had a relationship like that since MAYBE freshman year, but probably more like senior year of high school. I miss it… a lot.

And so I heave a great sigh and resign myself to a distant future of living like crap for another 4 months to pay off that extra grand in student loans. I guess the answer is pissed…




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