An open letter to family (pics to be included when I’m energetic enough to host them)

To: Every family member with an inbox
Subject: My Hair

Dear fam,

As you may know, I have ever-evolving hair. Every day, it takes on
newer, more technologically advanced forms. A team of four UW
engineering researchers is currently working on making it more ergonimic
and pleasing to the eye.

It all started with my original style, the “rat tail”, which Mom
insisted looked cute… Maybe it did in ’89, but I look back on it now
and LOVE that cut. Later, I experimented with the
ever-societally-prevalent “bowl cut”, to which Mom SHOULD have lovingly
responded, “Fuggeddaboudit!”

Other styles I’ve sported have included the good old “buzz”, the
world-worn “hippie”, the trusty “bleach-blond”, and the hard-rockin’
mullet. I have included a sampling of some of these “do”s… and “don’t”s.

I hope all is well in the world with the family, both with the
Norman-ish clan and the Arnett brood. I’ll see many of you in a couple
weeks I’m sure. Until then, dwell on my latest cut: THE HAWK! RAWR!

Much love and a beautiful, safe summer to all,
Collin